Renewal has roots in darkness
By Rev. Rosemary Anderson
Although often-times wonderful, the problem with renewal is that it seems it is something which must be accomplished in the dark, where you can’t see it. Take for example, a bulb that must be planted deep in the ground during fall, submitting it to the freeze of winter before its roots and green leaves enjoy soft places to emerge from when the bulb thaws in the warming grounds of spring. It is renewed in this way, and becomes a blazing transformation of glory in the form of a colorful tulip or daffodil. Fruit trees must lose their leaves and appear dead in winter in order to renew themselves before their summer crop, in fact, the harder the freeze that winter, the greater the crop.
Like plants, people can also experience renewal in “the dark.” There are two times in my life when I can recall feeling emptied of everything: emotions, responses, of knowing what to do with my life. The first time this happened, it was very scary for me. I cried and cried, not understanding what was happening to me. The only thing I knew to do was pray and to seek out people mature in their faith to help me through this time. When God began to fill me, I then understood that I needed to be emptied first. There was too much of me in there, I suppose. When this happened a second time, I felt secure through the emptiness, knowing God would do God’s great work within me again. I welcome these times of waiting for God’s fullness now. Although it is impossible to predict what will happen during these times or how long they will last, for renewal is accomplished in the dark.
We cannot always see or understand the ways of spiritual renewal, yet we have seen and read accounts of these mighty acts by God. We know them often as resurrection or transformation. When we link these words together, we sense a bright glory from transformation. Think of the transfiguration of Christ, happening spontaneously on the mountain top. If only our own transformations were to be as wonderfully transparent, that we could see clearly, the effects of renewal-without the times of waiting in the dark!
I am in ministry with a church in need of renewal. I know renewal is accomplished in the dark, and that is a problem for me. Is the church coming together or isn’t it? I just want an answer or a sign, though renewal requires patience, as well as nourishing care. As with a garden or an orchard, one needs to be at work tending, even in the times when all seems to be withering up, in the times when one knows nothing visible will grow. For in those empty times, God can accomplish a great work within the church.
As pastor, I want to provide the opportunities for God to touch and mold the lives of those within this church, for the renewal of the church rests upon the people yearning for renewal within themselves. Renewal is scary. We don’t want to cry or spend time waiting for God to fill us. We need to see results and be able to predict where we will be next year. Besides, haven’t we spent enough time waiting and praying? At my church, Primera Iglesia, we have waited years to feel the reassuring touch of Christ that will heal and transform.
So we search for signs of our fruits, our renewal. Would the new piano player and her spouse who will join the church soon be a sign of renewal? Is our Sidewalk Sunday School, which attracts over 50 people a week, a solid sign of renewal? Is it our food bank, our clothing room? Is it the special event we offer that attracts people of other churches to come join in, showing diversity in culture and race? Is it the increased number of people in worship on Sunday mornings? Or is it the increased number of volunteers coming in throughout the week to work at various projects at the church?
Our offering plates on Sunday mornings do not offer any sign of renewal. With 90% of our congregation on food stamps and/or fixed incomes, the people cannot afford to stock a food bank or run a big, yellow truck for Sidewalk Sunday School. The answer comes from our United Methodist connection. We have a Sidewalk Sunday School, a food bank, and a clothing room to offer because sister churches have supported these ministries. Other churches have donated funds and items. The people of these sister churches, individuals and groups, have reached out to empower the people of Primera to accomplish ministry that is so needed in inner-city Phoenix.
Ultimately, I find the answer for renewal comes from the congregation of Primera Iglesia. For renewal comes from within and is usually accomplished in the dark. My faith tells me God is working on the hearts and minds of the people of Primera, even if I can’t see it, and, it appears, the cold freeze of winter has done its work for as Spring comes upon us, there are signs of green and growth, so we know the roots are there and still strong.